As many of you know Damon and I married in December of 2004. I knew right off that I wanted to have a family. Growing up I always thought that you got married, had babies and would live happily ever after... Damon teases that he thought when he was younger if he even touched a girl she would get pregnant. This was so not the case and I never thought infertility would have been a battle that I would have to face. There were definitely highs and lows all along the road; one day I would feel fine with the lot I had been cast and the next I would find myself questioning my Heavenly Father as to why I had to go through this challenge.
Over the years I saw a handful of doctors and went through a dozen different tests. No on ever seemed to have an answer, until we found Dr. Leavitt. After our first appointment I had a great feeling about him, Damon even commented as we left his office "I like that guy!" Everything just seemed to click. However it still took some time for things to work out. I remember driving home one day from work and as I pulled in the garage I just broke into tears (I wish I could just blame it on all the hormones they were filling me with). I felt defeated and as I sat in my car I prayed. I told Heavenly Father that I couldn't take it anymore, 6 years was long enough. I asked him to take this burden from me, that I couldn't carry it anymore. If I wasn't meant to be a mother He needed to show me what I was suppose to be doing. I poured my heart out to him, and after that I felt at peace; I knew it was in His hands.
In early February I started to feel a little under the weather and as I was at the grocery store I thought to myself, I should buy a pregnancy test. Over the years I had taken so many of them I almost talked myself out of it. But I bought one and went home and as I saw a faint "+" showing up on the test I couldn't believe my eyes! In fact I didn't, so I took it to my mom to ask if she saw the "+" symbol too and then I went to the doctor's to have them do a blood test to confirm :)
I was going to start this blog and go through my whole pregnancy journey, however seeing as Kinlee is now here that was a failed attempt. I will say it was a wonderful experience to be able to be pregnant; even on the bad days I was grateful. My birth experience was nothing that I expected! After being in labor for 24 hours, my epidural wearing off, pushing with all I had, and then being told we had to do a C- section. The pumped me with more medicine in my epidural but my body had already become immune to it so I was told there was no choice but to put me to sleep. Damon had to leave at this point as they wont allow fathers in the operating room if your asleep. This was the only time I cried as they had me kiss Damon goodbye. The next thing I remember is waking up screaming as they were putting me back together, hearing them say "oh no, knock her back out." I then woke up 2 hours later in a recovery room where Damon sat holding our sweet baby girl, Kinlee (9 Lbs 1oz 22 inches long and a full head of dark hair). I was told that she had turned posterior and that I had started to hemerage and that it was a good thing we acted when we did. Although I didn't get to see her be born and have the "normal" birth experience, I was very grateful for modern medicine that got her here safely. I was also grateful for a sweet husband who took care of me and Kinlee in the hospital as I recovered; that was the longest 4 days of my life and I don't think I could have made it with out him.
Kinlee is full of drama; it sure took her along time to decide that she wanted to come to this earth. When she finally got here she stirred up a lot of trouble as she made her grand entrance. She is such a strong spirit that knows what she wants. I love her so much I can't believe she is mine :) She puts a smile on my face every day. I have dreamed since I was a little girl about "growing up" and becoming a mom. Here is my proof that dreams do come true!
We blessed her at 12 days old so that Damon's parents could be here. It was such a special day; Damon gave her the most beautiful blessing. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for answering my prayers and sending this sweet angel down to us!
